Illness of the Heart
by Agent N Danvers
Summary: What would happen if, instead of Cosima getting sick, Delphine was the one who was ill? What lengths would Cosima go to to save Delphine? Would she get help from an outside source, or will she insist on doing her own research?
1. Chapter 1

**What would have happened if, for some reason, Delphine had been the one to get sick instead of Cosima? Would Cosima get help from an outside source? Or would she insist on doing 'her own research?'**

* * *

**-X-**

The first time Delphine grew concerned about her health was after she left Cosima's apartment. She had grabbed her coat and let herself out, hearing a loud sob right before the door closed. But she couldn't turn back. Cosima didn't want her there. She had made that abundantly clear. _Yeah, it showed. _The words rang through Delphine's head as clear as glass. The expansive range of emotions coursing through her veins made it easy to ignore the tickle that was growing in her throat. She flew down the stairs, swiping the tears off her cheeks as they fell. She felt hurt, angry, and betrayed even though she was the one who had betrayed Cosima. But the words she had said, the way that Cosima had pushed them aside – it made Delphine furious. _I didn't want to fall for you. I wasn't supposed to. But I have. _The doubt on Cosima's face had been heart breaking. _Yeah, it showed. Yeah, it showed. Yeah, it showed. _The words seemed to be on an endless loop in her mind.

When Delphine finally made it back out to her car, she found herself slamming her fists against the steering wheel, hair flying into her face as she pounded against the leather-covered wheel. When she finally managed to stop herself, she began taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself, even though her emotions were still very much in control. Which was when she felt it. A small tickle in the back of her throat that grew steadily until she couldn't help but cough, trying to clear it. She raised a hand to cover her mouth and felt something warm fly onto her hand. Curiously she looked down at it, shocked to see the vivid red colour of her blood on her palm. She stared at it for what felt like hours, her mouth open in shock.

Finally she put her hand down in her lap, searching for something to clean the blood off. She found an old napkin and quickly wiped the blood away, placing the napkin in the glove box so she might do further testing on it later.

**-X-**

When Delphine knocked on the door of Felix's she found herself wondering if she was doing the right thing. She needed to tell Cosima about the blood, but she didn't know if it was the right time. But before she could re-analyze the situation, Felix had pulled the door open, crossing his arms and looking Delphine up and down. "Oh, well now I get it." He had murmured.

Cosima looked past Felix, into the loft apartment. "Um, Cosima…is she-?"

Felix called over to the clone, telling her of Delphine's arrival, and soon after, managed to excuse himself to allow Cosima and Delphine to talk. Cosima sat at her laptop, studying something on the screen with a look of frustration on her face. "Why are you here?" Delphine heard Cosima ask her.

Delphine looked down at her feet, then back up at Cosima. "It's – not important right now." She murmured, hesitating slightly. "You can't find that sequence anymore, can you?" she asked, sitting down next to Cosima. "He will have scrubbed it." She said.

Cosima stared at the screen angrily, then began shoving papers off the table, while Delphine watched them go flying. She reached out a hand to comfort the other woman, but Cosima pulled away swiftly. "Don't." she growled.

Delphine inched closer. "I'm on your side now." She murmured.

**-X-**

"This organism and derivative genetic material is restricted intellectual property." Cosima said with a sigh. She leaned back on the couch, pushing her glasses up her nose and shaking her head. Delphine shook her head and bit her lip. Cosima looked over at the blonde scientist, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Why are you here?" she asked again.

Delphine sighed and shook her head again. "I-I'm sick, Cosima." She murmured. "I thought, maybe…" she broke off, looking down at her lap. _I thought, maybe you still cared._

Cosima shifted so that she was facing the taller woman. "What?" she whispered. Delphine looked up at Cosima with tears filling her eyes, and nodded slowly. Cosima shook her head and took Delphine's hands in her own. She pulled Delphine towards her, wrapping her arms around her tightly. "W-we'll figure this out Delphine." She said, stuttering slightly. Delphine just nodded, her face buried against Cosima's shoulder.

**-X-**

_Three weeks later:_

Cosima finished taking another blood sample and put it next to the two other vials. She sighed softly, taking her gloves off and tossing them onto the floor to pick up later. She took Delphine's hands in her own and squeezed them reassuringly. "We're getting closer." She murmured, gazing into the French woman's eyes.

Delphine sighed and nodded. Over the past few weeks it had become harder to breathe, and her cough had gotten increasingly worse. Her face was pale and she was beginning to lose weight. She began coughing again, covering her mouth with her sleeve. Cosima grabbed a tissue and moved Delphine's sleeve away from her mouth once she was done coughing. She gently wiped away the few droplets of blood that had landed on Delphine's lips. Cosima helped Delphine lay back on the bed, watching her curl onto her side, tucking her hands under her head. Cosima laid down next to her, facing her and brushing a few stray strands of blonde hair behind Delphine's ear. Delphine opened her eyes slowly and shook her head. "Dr. Leekie might be able to help us." She muttered.

Cosima shook her head. "No way." She responded. "We don't need them. We can figure this out together." She said firmly.

Delphine sighed again and shook her head. "Vous choit têtu."

Cosima narrowed her eyes. "Hey, I'm not stubborn. I do my own research. I though we discussed that." She said. "And besides, you're the puppy." She said, grinning at the French woman.

Delphine smiled softly, closing her eyes again. "Cosima, if I don't get better-"

Cosima shook her head, cutting her off by resting her hand on Delphine's cheek. "Hey, what are you talking about? Of course you're going to get better. No matter what I have to do, I'll figure out something." She said.

Delphine sighed. "I know, but just _if_," she murmured. "I don't want you – what is the phrase? – I don't want you to beat yourself up. None of this is your fault."

Cosima sighed. "I know, I know." She murmured. "But you're going to get better. I won't give up." She said.

Delphine sighed and nodded. "There is something else too." She murmured. She took Cosima's hand and laced their finger together, gently gazing into her eyes. "Je te aime." She whispered softly.

Cosima sighed and smiled gently. "I love you too." She whispered. She kissed Delphine's forehead and pulled the covers up over the both of them, their hands still laced together as they fell asleep.

**-X-**

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**Alright, so this is my first Orphan Black fic, and honestly, I'm not sure where I'll take it from here. (Or if I'm going to continue it for that matter.) I'm very open to suggestions, comments, constructive criticisms, lay it on me. Do you think that this might be how Cosima and Delphine would have behaved if the roles were switched? Let me know! **

**Thanks guys!**

**I own nothing. All rights go to their proper owners. **


	2. Chapter 2

**-X-**

Cosima watched Delphine, watching her breathing. They had managed to get their hands on a few nasal cannulas, as well as a few oxygen tanks. At first, Delphine hadn't wanted to use them, protesting, saying that she wasn't that sick. That she was perfectly fine. But after a few days, she could barely stand up without passing out, and Cosima had insisted. Cosima's worry had grown immensely with each passing day. She had Scott working on searching for the cause of the illness. They had ruled out auto-immune deficiencies, and they were trying to search for any other reasons as to why Delphine was ill.

Cosima brushed the blonde hair out of Delphine's face, softly tucking it behind her ear. Delphine stirred slightly, but didn't wake, murmuring small little nonsense words that Cosima couldn't make out. She sighed softly, sitting up and grabbing her glasses. She looked around the small hotel room that they had moved into a few days before. Delphine hadn't wanted to stay in Felix's apartment, but she wanted to stay close to the DYAD, trying to convince Cosima to go to them, to get help. Cosima had refused every time that Delphine had brought it up. But in that moment, staring at Delphine's small figure, something broke.

She wrote a little note, leaving it on the pillow next to Delphine, grabbed her jacket and headed out. The note read:

'_Going to see if I can find some friends to help. _

_I'll be back soon. _

_I love you _

– _Cosima'_

**-X-**

Cosima had found her way to the DYAD very quickly and managed to get into Leekie's office. She mentioned Delphine's name and was shown into the large office, being told to take a seat and wait for Leekie there, so there she sat, heart racing. She wasn't fully sure if she would be able to trust Dr. Leekie, but Cosima couldn't see any other way out. She had to help Delphine, no matter what the cost.

The sound of footsteps behind her signaled Dr. Leekie's arrival. She looked back over her shoulder and gave a small wave as he entered the office, watching him sit down across from her. "Cosima," Dr. Leekie's voice sounded slightly surprised. "What a pleasure to see you again. But I must admit, this visit is a bit out of the blue." He said, smiling softly.

Cosima narrowed her eyes slightly and sighed. "I need your help." She said.

"Oh?" Leekie responded. He sat back in his chair, folding his hands together.

"I have a friend who is really sick." Cosima started. "She's been to see doctor after doctor but no one can seem to figure out what's wrong with her." She said, deciding to keep the identity of her 'friend' a secret. "I've tried doing my own research to figure out what's going on, but I keep coming up empty. So, I thought you might be able to help us." Leekie raised an eyebrow. "The DYAD has significantly more resources than any individual doctor, and definitely more than I do." Cosima bit her lip. "If we don't figure this out soon, she'll die." She murmured.

Dr. Leekie sighed and leaned forwards on his elbows. "Well, you don't seem to have any other choice, do you?" he said. He stood suddenly, folding his hands behind his back and walking back around his desk to face Cosima. "I'll tell you what," he said. "If you consent to regular testing, I'll see what I can do for your friend."

Cosima weighed her options. Regular testing, who knew what he meant by that. They would probably have a contract written up eventually that would enlist all the details, but Cosima was an Evolutionary Biology student, not a law major, she would never understand all the legal garble that they put in front of her, and even if she got a lawyer to go over it, Delphine could be too sick to be cured. But if she didn't, it could take her months to find out what was wrong with the young French doctor, time that they didn't have. Finally Cosima sighed and nodded. "Alright." She said.

Dr. Leekie clapped his hands together, smiling and nodded. "Wonderful!" he exclaimed. "You and your friend can make your way here next week Monday and we'll get started right away." He turned and sat back down at his desk, opening a notebook and writing a small note on it. He tore out the paper and handed it to Cosima, "Bring this with you when you return and hand it to the front desk, they'll help you from there."

Cosima looked down at the sheet, reading it, but not making sense of any of the words. Her mind was so fraught with worry and fear, but not for herself, she didn't care what happened to herself, she was worried for Delphine.

"Don't worry." Dr. Leekie told her. "We'll figure this out." He smiled and nodded at her.

Cosima blinked a few times before nodding. She stood and made her way out of the office, not hailing a cab, but just walking aimlessly for a while until she could finally find the strength to tell Delphine what she had done.

**-X-**

Cosima looked down at her phone, checking the time. She had left at about 9:30 that morning, but looking down at her phone, it read 2:54 in the afternoon. Her meeting with Leekie couldn't have taken more than half an hour, the rest of the time she had spent wandering the streets, not paying attention to where she went or what she was doing. She ended up at a small park, watching small children run around, laughing. Young couples walking hand in hand, smiling, sharing happy little thoughts. She had felt nothing but fear and worry for Delphine.

A cough from behind the door told Cosima that Delphine was awake, probably waiting for her, worried. Cosima sighed softly, inserting the key card into the door and opening it slowly. She looked up to see Delphine struggling to stand up from the bed. She rushed forwards and helped Delphine lie back, sitting next to her and smiling softly. Her face was the only thing that Cosima wanted to see, it was the only thing that could bring her any joy at that point. No matter how pale, how sick that Delphine was, to Cosima she was the most beautiful woman that science could have created.

Delphine reached up and grabbed Cosima's hand as she reached up to brush the blonde hair out of her face, gently gazing at Cosima with wonder, curiosity and worry. "Where did you go?" she whispered.

Cosima shook her head. "I –" she broke of her sentence, shaking her head and sighing.

Delphine's eyebrows drew together. "Cosima, I was afraid. I woke up at 10:00 and you weren't here. You have been gone almost the whole day." She murmured.

Cosima sighed. "I went to go talk to Dr. Leekie." She said, ashamed of the words that came out of her mouth. "I thought I could do this on my own. I wanted to. I was sure I could." She shook her head. "But he has more resources there…" she murmured.

Delphine tilted her head slightly. "What is it?" she asked. She could sense that there was something more. Something that Cosima was holding back.

"I – I made a deal with him." Cosima started. "Regular testing." She whispered. "I'm not exactly sure what it all entails, but if it means that you'll get better," she looked over at Delphine. "I'd do anything for you to get better." She murmured.

Delphine shook her head. "Cosima," she muttered. "You should have talked to me first, I do not want you doing anything that will get you hurt. Not even if it means that I would get better." She whispered.

Cosima smiled softly. A sad smile, and shook her head. "I don't care if I get hurt. Hell, I don't even care if they kill me. I just want you to get better. I can barely stand to see you like this." She murmured. "I weighed my options. By the time I figure out anything, you would already be gone. This is the only way." She whispered.

Delphine shook her head, tears spilling from her eyes. "Mon amour." She whispered. She lifted Cosima's hand and kissed it softly.

Cosima laid down next to Delphine, pressing her forehead against Delphine's hair, breathing in the soft scent of her shampoo. She wrapped her arms around Delphine and shook her head. "I'll do anything to make you well again." She whispered. "I promise. I'll make sure you are well again."

Delphine smiled softly, soft tears still rolling down her cheeks. She rolled onto her side, brushing her fingers against Cosima's cheek and shaking her head. "Effronté petit chiot." She whispered.

Cosima shook her head and sighed. She watched as Delphine closed her eyes and fell asleep. She gazed at her thin figure, the bones in her face, the pale skin that covered them. But her lips remained dark, stained with the blood that rose from her lungs and covered the tissue that rested on the side table.

**-X-**

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**I own nothing.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry that I haven't updated this fic in a while. My computer hasn't been working right ever since I fucked it up the first time and no one seems able to fix it. So right now I'm stuck using notepad on my laptop which sucks. **

**-N**

**-X-**

**_Two Weeks Later_**

DYAD had insisted on moving Cosima and Delphine into the institute itself, much to Cosima's dismay. She hadn't read through the contract to see that one of the conditions was that she was to be available for any and all tests that were deemed 'necessary.' Leekie said that that meant that Cosima was to be on hand at any time. She would need prior approval to leave the building, and if she was to leave, she wasn't to go anywhere alone. She would have an guard with her at all times.

Cosima was infuriated. Both at Leekie and herself, but she knew that she needed help for Delphine. They couldn't figure out the cure on their own. And DYAD had some major tech and other tricks hidden up their sleeves. So, Cosima and Delphine watched as their small apartment was packed into boxes and carried through the doors into DYAD.

The room that they were given was nearly bare and very sterile. Cold stone floors, white walls, stainless steel appliances. And they were only allowed a few belongings with them. The belongings that they had chosen then had to be de-contaminated before it was allowed to be placed in the room.

One of the only perks of signing the contract was that Cosima was allowed to go with Delphine to whichever doctor's appointments were arranged and whatever testing was needed. Cosima held her hand through each poke of the needle, and every appointment, even though she felt as though they weren't getting anywhere with all the tests that had been run.

Cosima opened the door for Delphine as they arrived back at their room after one appointment, helping the French doctor to the couch and sitting next to her. She took Delphine's hand in her own and brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. She sighed softly and pressed a kiss to the blonde's forehead. "Are you okay?" she murmured. They had just taken what seemed to have been almost a gallon of blood from the sick woman's body, and she seemed paler and weaker than ever.

Delphine took a deep breath and nodded. She leaned her head on Cosima's shoulder, her eyes closed. Cosima couldn't help but notice how sunken in her eyes looked. She shook her head. "I'm sorry Delphine." she murmured, breathing in the scent of the blonde's shampoo.

"Pourquoi?" Delphine asked in a quiet voice.

"I wanted to be able to do more to help you. I wanted to be smart enough to figure this out. I wasn't." Cosima mumbled.

Delphine sighed softly and shook her head. "You did what you thought was best. They'll find something." She took a deep breath and sat up, placing her hand on Cosima's cheek. "Look at me." she whispered. Cosima turned her head and gazed into the other woman's eyes. "But until they find something, I need you to be strong. Strong enough for the two of us. Because I don't know how much longer I'll be able to." she said. Her voice was soft, but she was pleading with the other woman. Cosima could see the fire that was once so strong in the French woman's eyes, was fading.

Cosima nodded. "I promise." she breathed. "But you have to promise me that you're going to keep fighting. That you're going to hold on for as long as you possibly can. Okay?" she asked.

Delphine nodded. "I promise." she whispered. She kissed Cosima's hand and laid her head on the other woman's lap. Cosima breathed a sigh of relief and softly stroked her soulmate's hair as the French doctor fell asleep.

**-X-**

_**Six Weeks Later**_

Cosima rubbed her arm roughly as she walked back to her room. It was second nature by now. Left, right, right, straight, right, left. She let herself in, closing the door behind her and slumping to the floor. "Delphine?" she called. Silence was the only sound that greeted her. She's probably asleep. Cosima assumed. She peeled the bandage off of her arm and poked at the bruise that the needle had left on her arm. It wasn't the worst round of testing she had gone through, but she was getting very tired of it. She pushed herself off the floor and headed towards the bedroom, wanting very much to lay down and take a nap next to Delphine. She opened the door quietly and looked over at the bed.

"Delphine?" she called again. The room was dark, but Cosima could tell that something wasn't right. She turned on the light to reveal an empty bed. Sheer panic and terror set into her. Delphine wasn't well enough to go anywhere on her own, and Leekie had promised that she could go to any and all appointments and tests with her. She bolted out of the room and down the hall, yelling at the top of her lungs. "DELPHINE?!"

**-X-**

Delphine opened her eyes to see bright lights shining right into her eyes. She tried to lift her arm to sheild them, only to find that she was strapped to the bed.

"She's awake. Finally." A voice said gruffly.

Delphine looked around, still blinded by the lights. She could only make out dark figures. Three or four people standing around her. "Cosima?" she called out. "Cosima!" Her eyes adjusted slightly, noting first the face of Dr. Aldous Leekie at the side of her bed. "Where am I?" she asked.

"You're alright. We're just going to do a couple tests. It's perfectly fine." Dr. Leekie said.

"Where is Cosima? You said she could be at any tests I needed to have." Delphine said, hearing her voice becoming more shrill.

Dr. Leekie pushed his hands into the pockets of his lab coat and nodded. "Yes well, this test is something that Cosima would have objected to strongly. But it is necessary." he said. "It is vital to your recovery."

Delphine shook her head, opening her mouth to protest, but before she could, a mask was placed over her nose and mouth and within a few seconds, she was unconscious again.

**-X-**

Cosima paced Dr. Leekie's office frantically, waiting for him to come in and give her any news. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him turn the corner and walk down the hall towards his office. As he pushed the door open, Cosima surged forwards and began spouting out questions. "Where is she? Is she alright? What have you done to her? You said that I could go with her!"

Dr. Leekie held up a hand to silence the young woman and sat down at his desk, motioning for Cosima to sitting in the opposite chair. He waited until she sat and then began. "Something has happened." he said with a grim face. He folded his hands and shook his head softly. "Dr. Cormier sadly succumbed to the illness that we were treating her for. It happened while you were in testing. Our finest team tried their very best to resuscitate her, but they were unsuccessful."

Cosima shook her head and dropped to the floor. "Oh god." she cried. She dropped her hands into her lap and sobbed.

**-X-**

**Thoughts?**

**-N**


End file.
